In a country where almost half of all marriages end in divorce, it may seem like getting a divorce may be taken for granted, and overly abused. Couple therapy and intimate vacations are encouraged in an attempt to decrease the divorce rate. Unless infidelity and abuse is involved, divorce usually is not encouraged in our society, despite its commonness. Some couples make great effort and decide to stay in a loveless marriage for the sake of their children. However, many parents fail to acknowledge the negative impact of staying in an unhappy marriage. It is true that children need security and structure in their lives. But they also need to be in a loving and nurturing environment. Staying in an unhappy marriage may provide the children with structure, but fail to provide a loving, nurturing environment. Witnessing frequent fights and lack of joy between two parents will teach children to sacrifice their happiness to protect a marriage that isn’t benefiting anyone.
By no means does this mean that a couple should call it quits without trying to make it work. It is only after numerous failed attempts to make the marriage work should the couple consider getting a divorce and being committed to being happy, all for the sake of their children.
Tips on Successful Post-Divorce Co-Parenting
Co-parenting may make more sense when you are in a marriage. Post-divorce, it seems like you are completely separated from your partner. You expect to start a new life and never to hear from your partner again. However, it is different if you have children involved. Genetically, the child is fifty percent you and fifty percent the other parent. So as long as the child is part of your life, your ex-partner will be too. As long as you will be a part of each other’s lives through your child, coming together and making healthy choices for the child not as a married couple but as equal parents will not only be beneficiary to the child but to you as well.
Here are some tips:
1) Respect your co-parent’s boundaries
2) Create routine co-parent check-ins
3) Encourage your child’s co-parent relationship
4) Be compassionate with you in-laws